I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize
