Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Randomize
