Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Randomize
