At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
