and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Randomize