plz talk dirty to me
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
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