Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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