It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
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