yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Randomize
