he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
