I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
