Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
