nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
