i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Randomize