My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
His hands were made for my vagina.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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