Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
