I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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