Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Randomize
