I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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