You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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