He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize