they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Randomize
