No stitches, just platelets and will power
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Randomize
