Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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