doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
You ate ashes out of my bong
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
