Someone shit on the floor
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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