I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
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