I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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