I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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