Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
