on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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