The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
