okay pat passed out under dana's car
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
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