Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
