Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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