something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
