How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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