I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
It's shark week go big or go home
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
