So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
