he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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