One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
It was a blind-side dick pic.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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