I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
