It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
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