I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
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