Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize