I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Randomize
