I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize