Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
