you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Randomize
