Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize