he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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