We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
