problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Semen is not good for contacts.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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