ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
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