Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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