the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
