The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
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