Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
If that was your dad, he is hot
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize
