No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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