That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
