Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize