i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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