Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
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