Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Randomize
