Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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