i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
false alarm, still single
Randomize
