Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
