You really coming over, don't trick.
I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Randomize
