I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
