I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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