I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
