I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Randomize
