It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
