im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
