Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Randomize
