Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
Randomize
