If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I just had sex on a roof
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize