Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Randomize
